we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
