Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
