i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
