I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
