hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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