I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
