Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
