Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize