I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
