Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
this will be a night to untag.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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