I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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