I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
operation have a gay friend backfired
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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