I don't remember. Are we still dating?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
