I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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