I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
