Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
