do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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