I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
