you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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