And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
