I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
