before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize