I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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