What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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