idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize