a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
