Just mADE A PArabola og urine
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize