I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
