who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
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