is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
