Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
