My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
There r osticjed everywhere
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
