Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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