idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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