im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
