So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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