office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
