WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
