my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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