nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
