hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
