but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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