i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
