I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
