....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Randomize
