i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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