Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
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