Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
home. puking in laundry basket.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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