Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
