gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
