My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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