I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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