Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm sobbing to NWA
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
