ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
