He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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