youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
