I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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