someone get that fucking seahorse.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
