you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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