think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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