She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
