I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
