So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
