i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I cut my penus on the lid.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
