Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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