I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize