so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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