she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
